Feeling Invisible in Midlife
Lately, I’ve been questioning whether people can actually see me. Not in a poetic or metaphorical way—literally. I’ve had strangers walk straight towards me in the street, forcing me to step aside as if I wasn’t even there. But the moment that really stuck was on a recent family holiday.
I’d made an effort, put on some make-up (a rare thing these days), and waited for that little spark of acknowledgement. My husband looked straight past me, turned to our teenage daughters, and said, “You two look lovely!” Not a single word to me. His reasoning? “Well, they need to hear it more.”
I was mortified, fuming, and, if I’m honest, quietly crushed. In that moment, I felt invisible. Needless to say, he has apologised.
And this isn’t an isolated experience. There have been countless other incidents—walking down the street, being overlooked in conversations, feeling as though I’ve somehow faded into the background. Each time, my self-esteem takes another hit, and I’m left wondering: what is it about reaching midlife that makes women feel unseen?
Why Does This Happen?
It’s a strange paradox. By the time we reach our forties and fifties, we’ve lived, we’ve experienced, we’ve learned so much. This should be the stage where society looks to women for wisdom, guidance, and strength. Instead, many of us feel dismissed, underestimated—or worse, invisible.
There are a few reasons why this happens:
Society’s obsession with youth: Women are too often valued for their appearance, fertility, and “bounce.” When that shifts, we’re wrongly seen as past our so-called “sell by date.”
Family dynamics: Teenagers often take centre stage, and mothers can find themselves pushed into the background, unnoticed.
Cultural myths: The idea that women lose value as they age is deeply ingrained, even though it’s completely false.
Internal changes: Hormonal shifts during menopause and perimenopause can affect how we feel about ourselves, and when confidence dips, invisibility can feel even more real.
But here’s the truth: women in midlife are at their most powerful. We carry life experience, resilience, and wisdom that younger generations can only dream of. The problem isn’t us—it’s how society chooses to see us.
Reclaiming Visibility
These feelings of invisibility aren’t the end of our story—they’re an invitation to reclaim our space, our worth, and our voices. We don’t have to shrink back; we can choose to take up space and shine again.
Every line on a woman’s face tells a story. It should be celebrated—a mark of experience, resilience, and wisdom. This is our time to rise, to feel empowered, and to stand tall.
Sometimes reclaiming visibility begins with the smallest acts: holding eye contact, standing tall, speaking with certainty. Other times it’s about seeking out communities where we are seen, valued, and celebrated for who we are. Spaces where invisibility has no place.
That’s why I’m so passionate about creating those spaces for women—through my tailored retreats, Reiki healing, and Reiki training—where you are truly seen, deeply heard, and wholeheartedly supported.
In every offering, my mission is simple: to guide women to heal, empower, and rise into their fullest potential.
If you’ve ever felt invisible too, know that you are not alone—and you don’t have to stay invisible.
✨ Let’s rise together. ✨
If you’re feeling unseen or disempowered, I offer you this affirmation to say out loud:
“I stand in my own power. I am seen, heard, & valued.”
Say it. See it. Believe it.
Rebecca Dobson
📧 rebecca@getcalmer.com
🌐 www.getcalmer.com
